


Rumour has it

by MagdaTheMagpie



Series: Hermione's Hideaway [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, I Tried, Rumours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:48:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23361220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagdaTheMagpie/pseuds/MagdaTheMagpie
Summary: Sometimes rumours get out of hand and sometimes they really get out of hand.
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Harry Potter
Series: Hermione's Hideaway [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1109649
Comments: 19
Kudos: 63
Collections: Cards Against Muggles Crack Fest





	Rumour has it

**Author's Note:**

> Black Card: I can't believe Harry Potter got away with ______
> 
> White Card: riding a basilisk into battle

"I can't believe Harry Potter got away with riding a basilisk into battle."

Hours after the battle, when the bodies of the fallen had not even cooled down yet, rumours about Harry's prowess in battle spread through the world like wildfire, inflating to ridiculous levels.

"He did not! He slew that basilisk when he was a kid. Where would he find another basilisk? Do you know how rare they are?"

"My neighbour's second cousin's friend was at the battle of Hogwarts, and he said Harry Potter turned into a Basilisk and killed V-Vol… Vold… You-Know-Who, with just a look!"

"What? Like an animagus?"

"Well, no, just his eyes."

"Must have been real close to see that," the other laughed, but it was too late, the rumour had made it through the tavern, out into the street and then the adjoining shops, spreading from shopper to shopper like a bad case of spattergroit.

Soon, rumour had it that Harry Potter ate the heart of the basilisk and had gained its killer stare.

"What's wrong with everyone?" Harry snapped a few days later when most everyone he met, instead of wanting to shake his hand enthusiastically, began to bow down when they crossed paths with him, not meeting his eyes.

"Please tell me they're not worshipping me know," he asked Hermione with an awkward laugh.

"Shhhh," Hermione hissed back at him, waving her hands frantically.

But too late. The two young witches who had bowed their head to avoid meeting the killing stare of their saviour took a liking to the idea and switched their fan club to a cult, preaching loud and clear that their saviour deserved to be worshipped go saving all their lives. 

Rumours spread that they all did, in fact, owe Harry Potter a life debt, so those who did not worship the saviour of the wizarding world out of blind love and gratefulness, did it out of logic. Better praise the saviour than risk his wrath or losing their magic for turning their back on the life debt.

The rumours travelled out to other countries but, not owing the young wizard anything, what they heard was that Harry Potter had turned into a fanatical religious nutjob who made everyone bow before him. Afraid he was just another dark lord, or the same dark lord possessing him since he had a knack of doing that, they sent assassins to take care of the problem before he got the whole country to back up his thirst for power.

"Another one?" Harry muttered as he poked the French assassin with his wand to make sure he was out of commission.

In his infinite luck, this wizard had tripped on the umbrella stand of Grimmauld place and Kreacher had taken care of the rest.

"Master is attracting pest to the ancient and Noble House of Black."

Harry rolled his eyes and ordered Kreacher to take him back to wherever he belonged. 

"I did warn you," Hermione said as she came down the stairs behind him.

"I'm pretty sure it's not my fault this time," he grumbled, thinking back on what he might have said that had been blown out of proportion again. "I've been very, very careful since that whole Church of Potter thing. I don't think I've said more that three words in public in the last  _ month _ ."

Harry was only more and more baffled as he was made King of the wizarding world and begged to go conquer the world, for their own good, of course.

Harry did the only thing possible. He grabbed his few precious possessions, his only sane friend, Hermione, and high-tailed it out of the wizarding world before they made him marry a princess or something.

From that day on, rumour had it amongst wizards and witches that Harry Potter was too good for this world and had left them to live in peace on the Isle of Avalon with Merlin and Morgan le Fay.


End file.
